Episode 63: Emotional Sobriety with Dr Allen Berger

Rebellion Dogs Radio # 63 features Dr. Allen Berger. Here is one of many gems from 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety: Getting Your Recovery Unstuck:  

 “In our lives, emotional stability is achieved by becoming aware of our toxic beliefs and unenforceable rules, the idea that makes our emotional balance dependent on external conditions. We start to see how these ideas and rules emerge in our relationships with others (‘If you love me, you will do what I want you to do’) as well as in the lies we tell ourselves (‘The right person can rescue me from my troubles’).  

Once we become aware of these unenforceable rules, we must surrender them. We need to move towards an attitude of ‘I’m okay even if this or that happens,’ and away from the idea that ‘I am okay only if this happens that happens.’ This is emotional freedom.”  

From Chapter 15 “Paddling Our Own Canoe”
This is the latest from Dr. Allen Berger, 12 Essential Insights for Emotional Sobriety. Also on Episode 63, Dearly Beloved, Internationally enjoyed alternative rock band, but from Toronto Canada, provides our musical stimulation, going back to their 2016 Admissions album: Admissions is a great word... double meaning, getting honest or the gate keeper to be being let in... spooky.

The 12 essentials, in point form only:

1. Waking from our sleepwalking, 2. Living life consciously, 3. Discerning our emotional dependency, 4. Knowing that it’s not personal, 5. Realizing that no one is coming, 6. Accepting what is, 7. Living life on life’s terms, 8. Discovering novel solutions, 9. Breaking the bonds of perfection, 10. Healing through forgiveness, 11. Living life with purpose & 12. Holding on to ourself in relationships.

This 2021 offering is the next installment in what’s been a series of well-received books of sober second thought that we will discuss in this episode. Emotional Sobriety This one expands on something Bill W of AA wrote about in AA Grapevine, January of 1958, thirty+ years sober. 

“Perhaps they will be the spearhead for the next major development in AA—the development of much more real maturity and balance...” The essay is called, “The Next Frontier: Emotional Sobriety.” 

Allan and I got to know each other better as part of a foursome: Marya Hornbacher, John R of the Verde Valley Arizona Freethinker’s Living Sober group + Allen and I did a one-time Zoom Emotional Sobriety workshop, which became a five-part series with the four of us riffing off of each other and some great audience participation. That can still be enjoyed—if that’s what you’re into—@ FreethinkersLivingSober DOT org 

Teamed up with psychotherapists and best-selling authors Thom Rutledge, Allen and Thom's   podcast is called Emotional Sobriety - a deeper dive into what we discussed here on Rebellion Dogs Radio. Rumors are now circulating that Joe C will join Thom and Adam for an upcoming episode on their show, as their guest. 

As "Rebellion dogs our every step," once again, we close with song. Music captures emotional range in ways Joe and Allen talk will not.

Dearly Beloved, with Rob Higgins on bass and harmonizing with co-vocalist Niva Chow, put out a 2016 album called, Admissions. The song is "I Tried to Leave."

Visit Rebellion Dogs Publishing Episode 63 for show notes and links for books, music, podcasts and more. 

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